Commuter Bike Overkill

I like practical bikes, like commuting bikes and all, but I don't buy into the neeeeed for every possible commutabell & whistle on "commute bikes." They go on there to make the category. Singly, everything makes sense---baskets, fenders, disc brakes, internal gears, chainguards, integrated locks, integrated lights, even shocky forks. But you put them all on the same bike, and it's all too much. Any commute that would take advantage of all those at one time is what?---steep, dark, gritty, wet, bumpy, greasy, in super foul weather and muck, and ends up  in a high-crime area?

 Drive that day.

I understand that not every feature will kick in everyday, and it doesn't hurt to have them cocked for action just in case, but when I ride a bike like that (it happens) in mild normal conditions---and I consider a light rain mild---it feels like paranoia-induced overkill to me. I don't like the look of a disc on the front hub. I just want a hub there.

I like the idea of a bike that can change with the seasons and needs. That means as little integration as possible. Clamp on your light (or better yet, wear it). Carry your lock. Ride stout rims that aren't threatened by gritty braking (they exist), and give yourself some new brake pads every winter. No commute is made better by a shock fork; ride bigger tires softer, and eliminated the need for hydraulic fluid replacement, or whatever sort of maintenance shocky forks.